Chapter: My World of Love

              We decided I would spend the weekend with Odis September 22nd. My sister had made plans to go boating, and Diane stayed with her Aunt Margaret. It was our first weekend to be alone since I had moved back. After picking me up, we drove to Hot Springs and then to Lonsdale.

We went into his house, and Odis’ Uncle Floyd was there. His dad introduced him as his older brother. He told me he had just celebrated a birthday on June 26^th. I said, “Oh, that is my daughter’s birthday. She just turned ten.”

He smiled, “I turned 66. We will have to have a birthday party together next year.”

I said, “Absolutely.”

Odis’ dad said, “Your mom is at Lorena’s. Your Uncle Jimmy is up there.”

Odis laughed as he explained that Lorena was his Granny Patton, his mom’s mother and his dad liked to call her that to tease her. His grandmother’s house was a couple of blocks, so we walked up there. We were holding hands as if we were back in high school.

As we went past the house he had bought, he said,

“We can stop and go inside on our way back. I’m glad you will get to meet my uncle. He’s an attorney in Little Rock. I’m happy to have this weekend together.” He looked at me and squeezed my hand, “I sure do love you.”

When we walked in the door, he said, “Aunt Granny, I want you to meet the girl I am going to marry as soon as I convince her to say yes.” We all laughed.

She said, “You’re as pretty as your picture. You’re all he talks about. I’m so happy to get to meet you.”

I said, “I’m glad to meet you, too. I hope it was all good.”

“Oh, yes, it’s all good.” Turning to introduce me, she said, “This is my son, Jimmy.”

As I shook his hand, he said, “Are there any more pretty girls like you in Texas?” He looked at Odis and said with a grin, “I think I need to take a trip to Texas.”

It was noon, and his grandmother had fixed lunch and insisted that we eat something. We visited for a little while, and as we left, I said, “Should I tell your uncle I may be living in Texas, but I’m Arkansas born.”

He said, “Nawh, we’ll keep him in the dark.”

We left his grandmother’s and stopped to see his house. It was green with three bedrooms and one bath. He had been painting and stripping the hardwood floors. As he gave me the guided tour, he said, “When I got the chance to buy the house, I planned it as an investment for rental property. I never thought I would ever get married again. I didn’t know a girl named Sue would come back and steal my heart.”

He hugged me real close and kissed me, “Sweetheart, I love you so much. I just can’t stand being away from you. I’m hoping you feel the same way.” He paused a moment, “My heart is yours, Suzie, Darling. I feel lost without you. I will love you forever.”

I hugged him tight, “I love you, too.”

As I walked through the house, I said, “I love the hardwood floors. It is very nice and looks like a good investment.”

“It will be a better investment when you’re the house owner.”

Kissing me on the forehead, he said, “When are you going to marry me?”

“Is that a proposal without a diamond?” I said, laughing.

“I’ll run get a box of cracker jacks.”  Then, he was serious, “I’m tired of these lonely nights, Suzie, and hugging my old pillow. If you won’t marry me now, let me have your pillow so I can dream of your love until you marry me.”

            

“If we dream the same dream will they come true faster?”

            

“Yes, most definitely.” He gave me a big hug and kissed me tenderly on the cheek.

When we left, we walked the back way, and he showed me where he went to church. It looked like something on a Hallmark postcard. Down the street was a basketball court. He explained, “The kids shoot baskets and play one on one. They start playing peewee basketball in the 3^rd grade.”

As we walked back to his mom’s house, I could feel myself falling deeper in love with this guy from fifteen years ago. Mr. Sandman had turned on his magic beam and brought me a dream man with black wavy hair, and he was the cutest thing I had ever seen.

Odis left with his dad to get the horses saddled while I sat under the carport visiting with the boys. They talked non-stop about their peewee basketball games and wanted me to come to one of their games to see them play. I could see a lot of their dad in them as they told me about their coon hunting expeditions. They were so excited, and I was afraid to let them know that I did not know what a coon was.

Odis had taught them to be polite and thoughtful. They asked me if I wanted some tea to drink, but I told them I thought we were going to ride horses. Mark and Tim were telling me about their fishing stories with their dad. I thought about my fishing trip with him when I was fifteen. As Odis walked up, I was saying, “Your dad took me fishing one time, but I wasn’t a good fishing partner.”

Odis heard me and chuckled. He winked at me, “Yep, all she did was feed the fish.”

I laughed, “He never asked me to go fishing again.”

He had the horses saddled and helped me up on mine. He said mine was very gentle. He knew I had not ridden horses for several years. He always looked out for me. 

Alpha Omega College Experience

I wanted to prepare myself for the writing venture of my love story AGAINST ALL ODDS, We Found the "Perfect Love."

My formal training was in accounting so I knew I needed some training to do this in writing. I never do anything halfway and dove in with everything I have.  I started by taking online classes with several experienced successful writers.

I continued with a ten hour, ten week class with Writers' Digest University on training to be a copy editor. At my age, I did not want a new career but felt it would advance my knowledge and help me be a better writer. I loved it and my experience was a reminiscence of my high school English class of nouns, pronouns, and verbs and learning the new terms of ellipsis, tautology, and squinting modifiers. Now looking at news articles I see their grammatical bloopers and hear them in the news anchors delivery!

My final exam gave me a grade of 90 and I was very happy. I think this is my alpha and omega of a college education so I guess that makes me a college dropout! But, who knows. I may show up in your class at Texas A&M Texarkana.

Now, on to tweaking AND editing my book!

The End of an Achievement

My book is nearing completion and has been a two and half years of research, reading Odis' letters, interviews and recalling old memories. I not only could walk in Odis' footsteps, but I have also been able to read his journey. I have 50 chapters and over 220,00 words of love and feel a sense of achievement. It's been a long voyage of smiles, tears, and pain but the end of the love story makes it worthwhile.

This is a clip from the book AGAINST ALL ODDS, We Found The Perfect Love describing our wanting to recreate our 1958 plans. Odis wanted to ask my dad for my hand in marriage
Enjoy:

Copyright ©2018 Suzie Tyler 

When Odis met my dad, they had a common bond … they both loved me. 
They also had a love for the Word of God, and Odis told me,

“I love your family, they are a part of you, and I love you very much. I respect your dad and his knowledge of the Bible.” 

The first night we met, I expressed my feelings about my dad and wanted him to know he had a high standard to live up to. He understood from the beginning that Daddy was perfect in my eyes when I told him, “I just want a man like my dad. When I was growing up, I can never  remember Daddy not reading his bible every day.” We had parental blessings with praying parents and grandparents who loved God’s word and covered us in their prayers. With their faith, they claimed scriptural promises for their families. That blessing was passed down from father to father making it a generational blessing. Many times when we picked up Karmyn after attending the boy’s ballgame, I would find his dad reading his bible in the kitchen late at night. Odis came along with that same love for God’s Word and kept me covered with his prayers.

The first time Odis and Daddy met, they had a lengthy discussion about the bible which was right down my dad’s alley. Odis loved hearing his biblical ideas, and especially end time prophecy which he had studied for years. Odis had a lot of respect for him and knew how important he was in my life. Odis had also cultivated the practice of reading his Bible every day as a child that extended to his days in the Army. When I had prayed for a Christian husband like my dad, God gave me the perfect one. Having sacrificed those fifteen years together, we wanted to start our marriage on the right track, and Odis said, 

“I want to do it properly and ask your dad for your hand in 

marriage.”

Going Back To School At My Age—??

Now in Week Three of my 10-week class in copy-editing. My assignment was to write a 250-word essay convincing my boss to give me a raise and why I think I deserve it. Since I haven't worked for several years and have been retired since age 62, I don't have a job or a boss to ask for a raise and I don't desire a job. The only thing I could do is coax the State of Texas to give me the winning lottery numbers before they are drawn and why I need them. Since that won't happen, I selected to persuade the Hallmark Channel to make a mini-series of my love story. After receiving my first draft back with suggestions and edits, I submitted this.  
We shall see if I pass the assignment. Any suggestions?

I am writing you today to ask that you consider my book for a series on The Hallmark Channel. Against All Odds, We Found the Perfect Love is an epic love story and ideally suited for your network. Beginning in the late 1950s, the story spans the life of its two main characters, Odis Tyler (my beloved late husband) and myself, Sue Tyler.

The book follows the story of a couple that falls in love but has a mysterious separation. The post office returns a letter of explanation of his disappearance. Unknown to her, she goes on with her life. Although they are 450 miles apart, with failed marriages, they manage to reconnect fifteen years later without the assistance of Google.

Never expecting to find each other again, they are miraculously reunited, and their feelings rekindled. With one innocent kiss, their hearts awaken to a devoted love that is rare outside of dreams. His love of country music loves songs inspire him to express real passion in over 250 beautiful love letters.

You can call it fate, coincidence, God or just luck, but they were destined to be a couple. Without a doubt, a puzzle came together to create a picturesque love story that would astonish any Hollywood producer—and it all began with a written letter.

Against All Odds is a story of devotion that appeals to the very demographic you serve. It can easily be adapted into a six-part miniseries and will not be expensive to shoot.

One Unplanned Innocent Kiss Changed My Life Forever

Copyright ©2018 Suzie Tyler 

As Odis lifted my hands to his lips, kissing each one, there were emotions I had not felt in years flooding my heart and scaring me. We sat silently as the radio played a song I had not heard before. It caught my attention with the words,  ♫♪ you’re still Cinderella to me. ♫♪  At that moment, it was the way I felt. I looked at the clock and said, 

“It’s almost midnight. I feel like Cinderella at the ball. I hope I don’t turn into a pumpkin.” 

He let go of my hands and again placed his arm on the back of the seat and said laughing, “If you turn into a pumpkin, I’ll make a pie out of you. Pumpkin pie is one of my favorites.”

I laughed, “At least I haven’t lost my glass slipper yet.”

Amused he said, “I would find it and put it back on your foot.”

“Then, you would have to marry me.” I quickly retorted as the song played the words,  ♫ Won’t you let me take you home ... ♫

He quickly said, “I think I could do that.” We both laughed. I wondered what he meant. Marry me or take me home with him or both?

I said, “I guess I have always been fascinated with make-believe. Is that bad? You probably think I’m still a child. I guess it helps block out problems.”

“It’s a man’s job to create a perfect world for his girl.”

“I’ve never had anyone say that to me before. That’s nice.”

I really liked his thinking. I didn’t know if it was a line, but it was appealing. I was enjoying our time together and hated for it to end but realized it was getting close to one o’clock. I looked at him and reluctantly said,

“Guess I should go in. It’s almost one, and I feel bad keeping you so late. You have a long drive, but I’ve loved reminiscing. It’s been fun going down memory lane with you. I hope we can do it again.”

He moved his right arm from the back of the seat and placed it gently on my shoulder and touched my chin with his left hand pulling me toward him to give me a good night kiss, but I turned away. You must remember; I had not dated in thirteen years. I was raised in a different era than today’s world. I was still old-fashioned, and you don't kiss on the first date. He read my mind and gently turned my face back toward him and said with a smile,

“It's not like this is our first date.”

So, I let him kiss me for what seemed like an eternity. Oh, my, I think I melted into the seat. Bells and whistles went off so loud in my head, I was startled. When our lips met so tenderly, it combined his heart with mine, and the blend of the two exploded. The love I felt for him in 1958 as a sophomore was stirred and my heart was beating so fast I didn’t know how to react. At that moment, an unplanned kiss showed me that love was still alive and more profound than I had imagined. He had not lost his talent as a good kisser.

He got out and walked around to open the car door for me. We neither one said a word as I got out of the car. He slipped his arm around my waist as we walked down the sidewalk to the front door. I felt like I was walking on a cloud. My knees felt weak, and my heart was beating at least 113 beats a minute. I think he was holding me up, as I tried to keep my composure. Standing on the front steps, he tenderly kissed me on the cheek and said,

“Goodnight have a safe trip back to Conroe tomorrow. I’ll see you in my dreams.”

 As I opened the front door and walked inside. I leaned up against the closed door for a moment to catch my breath and wondered what had just happened. I wanted to stay in the moment and never ever leave it. Trying to keep the remembrance of that kiss fresh in my mind, I touched my lips with my two fingers and sighed with a feeling of seventh heaven. 

Epilogue from AGAINST ALL ODDS, We Found The Perfect Love

EPILOGUE

May 19th, 1973 began a second chance love journey for Odis Tyler and me. Our earthly chapter as lovers closed unexpectedly on June 9^th, 2015. It was not a path I ever expected to take and was prepared to go together in the rapture with him. As I continue to follow God and trust Him to fulfill His Plan, I have set my focus on why God left me to carry on alone.

Writing my love story has been therapy for me. I have seen our story as an example of our love for God and each other. I have seen how God orchestrated time and events to provide a perfect love as we went against all the odds and has been amazing. The story reunited our former love and created a pathway that brought 4 children to the table of life and exposed them to a relationship of loving parents, a teaching of the love of God and opportunities they wouldn't have had otherwise. Ten months after we married, a little Suzie was born and was the biggest surprise of all but the most joyful. Each child was educated either formally or with life experiences and grandchildren, and great-grandchildren were added to the mix. As a single working mother, it wasn’t comfortable stepping into the role of a stay at home mom to 3 stepsons. My love for Odis gave me the desire to accept that challenge. Odis’ goal was to love and take care of me and provide an abundant life for me as long as he lived. He has continued that provision when he could no longer be here to give it to me.

I stay active in our community with church events, judging pageants, and keep up with friends and family on Facebook. I spend time with my daughter, Diane, and granddaughter, Molly in Texarkana and fly to New York for business and family time with our daughter Karmyn. I spend time visiting with the boys and their children and grandchildren in Shreveport and Hot Springs.

From a fantasy world of Elizabeth Taylor to the real world of life with Odis Tyler, I have lived a wonderful fairytale love story that most people only dream about.

“Why God allowed the life I lived, I don’t know, but I feel very special that He gave me a beautiful love to experience. I treasure the hundreds of love letters Odis left for me to remember his true, pure love.”

         Diane received two master’s Degrees from Texas A&M Texarkana and recently became Principal certified. She is currently At-Risk Coordinator for the Behavior Adjustment Class & Disciplinary Alternative Education Campus at Liberty Eylau ISD. Diane has two daughters, Molly Suzann, 26 and Maggie Catherine, 19. Maggie was killed in a tragic car accident on her way to work, on September 19, 2013. Diane resides in Texarkana with her husband.

Karmyn attended Centenary College in Shreveport, Louisiana and became MissLouisiana 1995. She received an Associate Degree in Music and Drama from Texarkana College and a Bachelor’s Degree in Administration at Texas A&M Texarkana and had a successful acting career in Dallas before moving to Los Angeles in 2006. She currently resides in Manhattan with her husband where she performs and teaches voice with numerous students who are Country music artists and appearing on Broadway.

Jeff attended Southwestern Assemblies of God College in Waxahachie, Texas, He has two sons, Josh and Daniel and two grandchildren. He is in full-time ministry and began a Night Watch ministry while living in Atlanta, Georgia. Currently, Jeff resides in Iowa.

Mark attended DeVry college in Dallas, Texas and Garland County Community College in Hot Springs, Arkansas. A commercial driver for several years he trained as an EMT and paramedic and currently a 911 dispatcher for the Hot Springs Police Department. Mark married his high school sweetheart, Dawn in 1986, and they have two sons Seth and Cody. Mark passed away in Hot Springs, Arkansas in August 2018.

Tim married the love of his life, Tammy in 1996. He received specialized training in roofing and was a commercial truck driver. Tim has four boys, Tim, Dalton, Shon and Dusty, and two girls Brandy and Sandy and three grandchildren. Tim died of lung cancer in 2016. Tammy resides in Doyline, Louisiana with their sons, Shon and Dusty.

Dalton married Joanna Rogers in 1975 and five years later had a daughter, Tasha. He retired from printing and currently resides in Hot Springs, Arkansas.

JoAnn moved from Waco to Nashville, Tennessee where she has managed several successful country music artists including Barbara Mandrel and Roy Clark. She formed her own company, World Class Talent in 1983. Currently, residing in Nashville, JoAnn is the market director for CBN. She still manages artists part time and has recently signed several new artists.

James and Racine Smith had three daughters, LaDonna, Kathy and Carolyn and one son, DeWayne. They were owners of Smith Printing Company until he retired. James died of dementia in 2010. DeWayne died with complications of juvenile diabetes in 2004. Racine currently resides in an over 55 apartment duplex in Texarkana, Texas.

Margaret Anne Edwards Duke lived in Texarkana and adopted two girls. Jimmy passed away in 1984 unexpectedly of a heart attack at the age of 38. Margaret remarried two times and had a son. She passed away in 2002 while living in Oklahoma. They transported her to Texarkana for graveside services and were late getting there so she fulfilled our prediction of ‘being late for her own funeral.’

Danny was drafted in 1961. He served in the Army, and left the printing profession and went into business for himself in 1965. After serving in the Army, he married Ioma in 1964, and they had two daughters. His wife died in 1987. He currently resides in Hot Springs, Arkansas.

I recently took a trip back to Conroe, Texas for the first time in 40 years. I was able to visit the old dealership, the house on Madeley Street which is now a parking lot for the Catholic Church and my old apartment at Caesar’s Palace. It looked the same except they had filled in the swimming pool. I visited the shopping center where JoAnn had her shop “What’s Happenin” and the old church on Frasier Street. Progress goes on, and the dealership is now Buckalew Chevrolet and has relocated to I-45, and the church now has a big new church also on the interstate. It has grown from 12,000 to close to 100,000 population. I visited with my former pastor, Alvin Eaton who just turned 95 and my former boss, Don Buckalew in his 80’s and my friend and former co-worker Sandra and we don’t give our age. Time has marched on for Conroe as it did for Odis and me.

In August 2017, Sandra had a stroke and passed away a few weeks later. She had the opportunity to read my book and was in awe at the love Odis had for me. She told me, “Sue, he really loved you.” I treasure my visit with her.

Betrayal in its Ultimate Form

I have heard it said, "Jesus was tempted in all manners as we, yet without sin," but he wasn't married.
If anyone has had a relationship that resulted in the other person being unfaithful, they know how much hurt it can cause. It is a betrayal in its ultimate form. Jesus knew how that felt. Judas was 'one of him,' and yet he sold him out. So, yes. Jesus felt everything we can experience but without sin.


Reference: Hebrews 4:15 NIV Bible Hub
For we do not have a high priest who is unable to empathize with our weaknesses, but we have one who has been tempted in every way, just as we are--yet he did not sin. 
Copyright ©2018 Suzie Tyler 

WHY? Why our family, Lord?

I just read about a family who tragically lost two daughters, 16 and 11, in a car accident.

My mind went back to things I experienced at those ages and how it could have been me. I was driving a car at 12 years of age. I tried to imagine what the world would have been without my existence after 11 or 16. The things I accomplished would not be here and no children born to me. My life after that age would not be felt! Would people remember me at all now? Sixty years later?

Having experienced the loss of a granddaughter, the missing of them never ends. Birthdays, special family events, 5, 10 and 15 years later, you wonder how they would have added to the world with accomplishments while experiencing life! 

This is what this family will deal with. Not just in the here and now with funeral arrangements and decisions they never thought they would have to make, but for a lifetime. Their friends will support them emotionally, physically and possibly financially but they can never know what they are feeling.

It will be a time to trust God. That is easy to say but difficult to do. The questions are humongous and never answered. We can accept the situation, but we don't have to like it! I always said if I knew God was going to take one of my children I would argue with Him but He has the final answer.  I trust that His wisdom knows more than I do.

Pray for families who have lost children and grandchildren.  It is the worst hurt that can be!

The Beast versus The Beast

The newest rage ... Eyelash Parties.

A trained technician comes to your home to do derma techniques for eyebrows, eyeliner (upper and lower), lip liner and filler or individual applied false eyelashes.  My daughter Diane posted a party and began making appointments.  I always want to support my girls and expected something like a jewelry party with lots of food and fellowship. I considered having lip liner done, but I am a procrastinator and did not make a prompt appointment. Before I knew it, she'd posted that all times were full!  I apologized that I didn't manage to make an appointment, but she told me to come on, I could watch, and maybe the technician could work me in.

Diane's 99-year-old grandmother-in-law was the first appointment. She had her brows done and Diane posted a picture of her on Facebook. I thought that's cool! Must not be too bad.

I am a people person, so I went over and loved meeting and visiting with new people, eating and drinking, and I decided to watch the procedure. I watched as the technician used her little tool and applied brown antiseptic on the brow line. It looked simple enough. I continued to watch and realized there was some blood trickling down from the brow she was doing. Now, I faint at the sign of blood, and you do not want me around in a blood-involved event! I guess my eyes became enlarged and Diane said, "Uh, oh, we just lost my mother." I was 60 years old before getting my ears pierced. After the first ear, the pain was so severe, I considered not following through with the other ear!

I had been reading love letters my husband had written me in 1973 when I told him I might faint getting a blood test for our marriage license and he would have to hold my hand.

Yep, not happening!

The brows look beautiful, but even with three Mimosas and two Xanax, I don't think I could have it done! I know the old saying 'no pain, no gain' but I am allergic to pain, so I opted out. For now, I will have to settle for old-fashioned eyeliner and eyebrow pencils for my color.

For now, I will leave it to the girls who put their big panties on!

Pray for our families and our nation.

Please pray for our families and our nation.

Things change as we get older. Not just our bodies but the world around us.

In my parents world, women didn't have to worry about their spouse being unfaithful. He worked in the field all day and sometimes she worked by the side of him. They did things together. They didn't have to 'work at their marriage', they just loved each other and they were all they had. It was togetherness forever.

My generation was a little different.Our concept was, you get married and lived happily ever after but now women had gone to work in the outside world, An office setting with men and women together in a different atmosphere and an attraction to each other. 

All of a sudden, women had to start looking good for their husband and think about someone else taking him. Problem was they were also looking good to other men and people started 'changing partners'. Somewhere along the line love went out the door.

Today, it is all out war. Talking with lady friends in their late forties and fifties, it is getting to be a bigger problem in today's society. Women have to guard more than ever against having their husband taken away from them by another conniving female and vice versa. They take the old saying, all is fair in love and war literally.

I was the lucky one, I knew my husband loved me almost with a worshipful love. My prayer is that husbands wives will love their husbands with that same kind of unconditional love and neither one will ever look at anyone else.. I've noticed it usually happens after ten to fifteen years of marriage. If that is you, stop, look at your spouse and love and appreciate them.

Today, with all the distractions of our surroundings, you have to work at having a good marriage. The family is under attack. Our nation would not be having problems we are today if everyone loved each other with a Jesus love.
Copyright ©2017 Suzie Tyler
You have my permission to share

Epigram AGAINST ALL ODDS, We Found The Perfect Love

Epigram

Ode to a New Old Love

A Summation of February 1958 to December 13, 1973                           

It’s her first night on the town, single and alone,
Her marriage had ended, and now she moans,
He was unfaithful, making her decision a must,

She couldn't live with a man betraying her trust.

She has her independence but wants a loving man,

To take her in his arms and give her reason to trust again,
She'd rather have someone’s love and devotion,
With a pure, true love that was his motivation.

A man who will be faithful and never let her down,
But love her as his princess and give her a crown,

She thinks back in time when the moon was full and bright,

Meeting an eighteen-year-old at her sister’s late one night.

They listened to music, and their young hearts fell in love,

Made plans to marry as the stars twinkled above,

But with circumstances and in another time,
She lost him, and he lived only in her mind.

Fifteen years later there is a random phone call,

And he magically appears, handsome as ever, dark and tall,
A planned friendly meeting, but with one innocent kiss,
She discovered the love and the life she had missed!

Now at 30 and 33, finding each other was mystical,

They were 450 miles apart, and she knew it was a miracle,

With his devoted true love, she gives him complete trust,

This time she will hold on to him, she really must.

She did not know that love could be so heavenly,

It was a real True Passion!  Intensely and Unbelievably,

When he asked her to marry, she gladly said 'Yes,'

She knew this Love was the real thing to confess.

Now a woman, instead of the girl from yesterday,

She’s a lady in love with a new outlook to stay,

She never thought her dream would come true in her lifetime,
But said, "I’m in love with this amazing man, and he’s really mine.” 

Alas, she’s a woman who found her long lost love,

Now, his arms hold her with the kiss of a snow-white dove,

As they ride off into the beautiful sunset to make a new life,
Just the two of them with an enchanting union as husband and wife.

Dedicated to the Love of my Life Odis Tyler

Copyright ©2016 Suzie Tyler

Commitment to God and Each Other

Book Clip
AGAINST ALL ODDS(We Found The Perfect Love)

Copyright ©2016 Suzie Tyler 

At times the world seems to be skewed with greed and self righteousness and a what’s in it for me attitude. I pray I can always love as Odis did and as Jesus did and make a difference in the world in the time I have left. My journey is secure in Jesus. God has a plan and that plan is an on time plan. I know in my knower that God has everything under control, sometimes I just have to push my faith button a little harder.

Odis told me while we were dating in 1973 “I will love you so much and will be so good to you that you will forget the past.” He loved me out of those painful memories and I never thought of them again until writing this book. Now I have to forget those bad memories in my divorce past all over.

I think the most difficult part is having to do it alone without Odis loving arms holding me, loving me and telling me “it’s all gonna be okay” this time.  Then I remind myself, I do have the comfort of the Holy Spirit AND Odis’ beautiful love letters of encouragement and beautiful, beautiful memories. I am stronger because I have his love surrounding me and memories inside me.  With God and Odis’ wonderful love in my heart, I can do this. 

During the early years of our marriage, Odis would tell me, “Suzie, as you are forgiving others, remember to forgive yourself.”  I have to remember that forgiving is not condoning the actions of the person. I try to remember that as I relive the painful memories of my past.  It is difficult but God wants His forgiveness to extend to ourselves.

I don’t know why we are amazed when God brings blessings into our lives. When I made that phone call in May, 1973, I had no concept of the big picture being set up for me on the stage of life.   God answered my prayer to send me a man who loved me more than life. God still has my future in His hands and I want to continue trusting Him. I know “God didn’t bring me this far just to drop me.”