Divorce

Talking with a friend the other night about divorce and the scripture's allowance of it.  When you make a vow in marriage to another person before God, you promise and pledge a covenant to love each other as Christ loves the church and gave his life for it. When that vow is broken, you are loosed from it. You may choose to stay in the marriage if the cheating spouse is repentant and you are positive it won't be repeated. Only you can make that assessment.

For me, with physical abuse and a safety issue in my first marriage, I searched for a biblical reason. I had kept my head in the sand and did not look for the truth until I felt I was in danger. In the seventies, divorce was looked down on, and women were at a disadvantage.  Salaries were nowhere near what men were paid. Today, a lot of women make more than their husbands and can be self-sufficient on their own and don't have to accept abuse, physical or emotional. Both are the same. One affects the body, the other the spirit. Not sure which is worse because I had both. I was cursed for even going to church and threatened to be physically yanked out if I stayed too long. 

In today's terminology, we were toxic for each other. He liked going to bars and drinking, and I loved God, and the church became my life away from the strife. Back then society AND the church frowned on you if you were divorced. I was the first of my eight siblings to get one and put it off because of fear and shame.  I wasn't sure if I could make it on my own and figured I wouldn't get child support and didn't.

It was a struggle financially and emotionally. For me, God sent a loving Christian man who helped stabilize my life. I don't recommend that for most. My situation was unusual. It is best to find your own identity for a year or so before getting into another relationship. I had prayed for a Christian man for 9 years and thought it would be the one I was married to, but he edged away from Godly things more the longer we were married. God answered my prayer for a Christian husband in a way I had not expected. I had been mysteriously separated from my first love, but God brought him back in an unusual manner.  

I had been reading a book, Fascinating Womanhood by Helen Andelin when I met Odis and I highly recommend it.  It is still in print and has a workbook. It teaches a young woman how to be a Godly woman and wife with a celestial relationship. That is what God gave me, and He can do the same for you. The key is putting God first in your life. 

If you find yourself in divorce circumstances without biblical reason or unsure if you do, don't despair. God's forgiveness is never exhausted.  Your credit line of forgiveness is unlimited. The bottom line is don't make another mistake which will compound your life. It would be better to stay single than be unequally yoked if you are a Christian. If you are not ready to give yourself to God totally, then don't get married again. Or at least that is my advice.  As my mom always said, "advice is like armpits, everyone has two."