What is surface love?

When I was researching information for my book, AGAINST ALL ODDS, We Found The Perfect Love, I wanted to know what the types of love were; Human and God's. I discovered that Agape Love, the kind God has for us, is unconditional with depth. Surface love is shallow, lacking depth.

When I thought about the definition of the two, I knew that Odis' love was unconditional. At first, I thought he was looking at me through rose-colored glasses with infatuation. After a bad marriage relationship, I did not think he was real. 'How can he love me when I'm unloveable?' I asked myself!

I knew I had feelings for him that had lasted for fifteen years, but my heart had been deceived once before, and I had my emotional guard shield in place. I did not want to let it happen again.

To better explain, a surface love will love you as long as you perform to their specifications and do what they want you to do. When you no longer play to their liking, or you are old and no longer beautiful or have health problems, that surface love looks for someone else who still has the look and actions they desire. Reading the definition, I realized I had married a man in my teens who loved me according to my performance and the love measure he had set forth. There is a reason the phrase "For Better or Worse" is in a marriage covenant. If the person you love doesn't give that kind of unconditional love, run from them! Otherwise, your dream will become a nightmare.

When I met Odis, he loved me unconditional. He did not care how I looked in the morning when I woke up or if I kept the house spotless. His love did not depend on my having on makeup, false eyelashes or my outward beauty. He loved me for me and did not want to change me. He taught me what Agape Love was.

My advice for young girls and boys looking for a mate that will still love you in your old age, let me encourage you to find a person who loves God first and loves you as Christ loves the Church and gave His life for it. When you do, return that unconditional love for a lifetime of happiness. Only the value of the inner person will sustain a stable relationship and will be priceless.

In the sixties, I was a youth coordinator assistant. We planned activities for our young people and taught them spiritual values. I hope I instilled the principles of God's love in their life.

The world has evolved technologically to the point of invoking a fake persona. With social media, everything is just words and have no meaning or genuineness. There was a saying in my day, 'sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me.' That is not a true statement. Words do hurt and once spoken have damaging effects that last a lifetime.

In the nineties, there was an acronym, WWJD. It came from a book, In His Steps by Charles Sheldon. The men in the community made a commitment to ask the question What Would Jesus Do before every decision made in their business. Today, the acronym would be, WIPC or What Is Politically Correct!

Today, not only is everything fake, but it is disposable. This generation is taught to throw away everything that doesn't work. From appliances to marriages, nothing lasts forever to a millennial.

With television entering our world in the 50s, it became the launching pad for technology, and our life has been made easier but more complicated. Sometimes I look back and yearn for that simplistic culture, but would not want to live without the communication available to us today, especially cell phones.

We have made significant trade-offs for our lifestyle today. I hope it has been worth it.