Friday, May 29, 2020

You Gotta Watch Old People


Watch what you ask retired people. They have all the time in the world to think of crazy things to say....................

Yesterday I was at my local COSTCO buying a gigantic bag of Purina dog chow for my loyal pet, Jake, the Wonder Dog and was in the check-out line when a woman behind me asked if I had a dog.
What did she think I had an elephant? So since I'm retired and have little to do, on impulse I told her that no, I didn't have a dog; I was starting the Purina Diet again. I added that I probably shouldn't, because I ended up in the hospital last time, but that I'd lost 50 pounds before I awakened in an intensive care ward with tubes coming out of most of my orifices and IVs in both arms.
I told her it was essentially a Perfect Diet and how it works is, to load your pants pockets with Purina Nuggets and simply eat one or two every time you feel hungry. The food is nutritionally complete, so it works well and I was going to try it again. (I have to mention here that practically everyone in line was now enthralled with my story.)
Horrified, she asked if I ended up in intensive care because the dog food poisoned me. I told her no; I stepped off a curb to sniff a poodle's a$$ and a car hit me.
I thought the guy behind her would have a heart attack he was laughing so hard.
Costco won't let me shop there anymore.

Karmyn's acting class at age 5

I grew up watching a lot of musical movies and loved The Sound of Music with Julie Andrews. When we moved to Texarkana, there were more ‘artsy’ opportunities, and I tried to give Karmyn a broad education of the arts. At 5 years old, I enrolled her in an acting workshop at Texas High with Mr. Al Pasley for the summer. No other 5-year-old signed up, so they put her in the older class. This introduced her to acting, and she loved it. They did a little play with costumes and music on the last night of the workshop for the parents to watch. Karmyn's character was a brown bear. 

From that night on she wanted to be on a stage. Our fireplace became her stage, and a Dr. Pepper bottle was her microphone to perform. Her dream was born at 5 years old to be on Broadway before she even knew what it was. For her mom, I cringed because the first rock musical Hair hit the New York stage in 1968 and featured a much-talked-about scene at the end of the first act in which the cast appeared totally nude on the dimly lit stage. Not what you want your child to be involved in but thank goodness Community Theatre was a little milder.
 
Fortunately, by the time she was 13 years old, the Phantom of the Opera was a Broadway musical hit and her first NYC Broadway experience. It just fed her passion for being on a stage.

WWJD



In His Steps. If I remember correctly, that book birthed the WWJD idea.  The novel portrays a group of businessmen in a town who asked in all their decisions the question: What would Jesus do in this situation?  I've thought about and wondered how that would work out in today's setting with the government intervention in our daily activities. 

Our world has changed from the Fifties!  Some for good, some for bad! The invention of the internet, iPhones, and WiFi has changed our society.  Krushchev said he would destroy us without firing a shot because of our rights!  Sometimes I think he was right! 

We must live the best we can, make moral decisions, and don't deceive ourselves about what is bad but ask for forgiveness when we sin.

Only God knows our heart and the Holy Spirit will convict. Jesus earned the right to forgive us for our sins and is the best role model. 

Death has no favorites, grief no map


It is very, very difficult giving up a child, a spouse, parent, or sibling!  I still have days that my heart aches for the love of my life and others are in the same spot!
God gives us the strength but sometimes you just want to feel their arms around you and hear them say “I Love You.”  In death, you face the harsh reality and know that it is not possible. 
Each person deals with grief differently and there is no right or wrong way to do it!  There is no map! It is individual!
We all wish at times we could go back to our teenage years or that is if you had wonderful teenage years! But we know it’s not possible! I would be in serious trouble if I couldn’t separate reality from fantasy and know I can’t go back.
There is no Delorean time machine!  
That’s only in the movies!


Tuesday, May 19, 2020

May 19 1973

Today, 47 years ago, I reconnected with the love of my life!
On May 19, 1973, I met Odis Tyler in Texarkana for dinner, and we reminisced our dating fifteen years before. It was a day that changed my future, and I was never the same after that night!
The weather was a lot like now, cold. He had to take off his jacket and put around me when we visited Lake Texarkana that evening.
I will never forget May 19, 1973!!
I always told him they threw the mold away after he was born! I thank God everyday for him! I only hope someday both my girls find one half as good!

Forgiveness VS Reconcilliation


Some may have heard my story and experience watching the movie "Overcomer."

When I began writing my life story, I had pushed a lot of the hurtful memories of my first marriage to the back of my memory. When Odis came in my life, he wanted me to never be hurt again. His one goal in life was to love me so much, I would forget the hurts.  He succeeded, and I never remembered them again until writing my book. I thought I had forgiven those who had hurt and wounded me, but recalling them, brought anger I didn't realize lived inside of me. Every time, I wrote about an incident and then again when I was editing, hatred would rise up inside me. I would think, how dare he to have done that to me or how could she have treated me with such disrespect and no regard for my marriage, as frail as it was. All the people involved had already passed on, so my anger was only hurting me! I couldn't even scream at them and tell them off.

The movie, Overcomer, changed my life. I cried through most of the film, and in one of the scenes, there was a spirit of forgiveness that came over me, and I forgave them and anyone else in my life that had wronged me, whether or not they had asked for forgiveness. I can't explain it, because it was a God-thing. When He does it, He does it right.  It has been almost a year, and even now, when I have to talk about those events or reread them, there is no anger. 

I don't know who may need this story, or maybe it's just for me to write it down and remember what God did for me, but I knew I had to blog it.

When Odis and I dated in 1973, I was having a tough time forgiving people for their part in wounding me, and he told me that "Forgiveness is not condoning." and reminded me, "When you forgive others, Suzie, forgive yourself."  I think part of my healing process that day was forgiving myself for allowing the woundings to happen. 

I used to say; I forgive my ex-husband, but I don't want to live next door to him. That would be a reminder of the hurt.

Most people say I forgive you, but I won't forget it. When friends or family continue hurting you, you don't want to keep putting yourself in a position to be hurt over and over. We are instructed to forgive many times, but we don't have to continue placing ourselves in a position to continue being hurt. In marriage conflicts, that's what divorce courts are for. You can divorce the person but not your emotions as quickly. It's even tougher if they are family members.

I do not connect forgiveness to reconciliation. That ball is in your court decision to reconcile with the person. Sometimes the one doing the wounding has not changed their behavior, and even though they ask for forgiveness, you know they would do it again if you gave them a chance. It is best to forgive them in your heart and move on.

Be blessed.

Sunday, May 3, 2020

I was accused of being a smart a$$ woman



God gave me a brain and my mother taught me how to use it!
I may be an artificial blonde but I'm not dumb. I was recently called a smart a$$ woman because I refused to be talked down to! I'm not offended. I'm proud to be a smart-ass `20s woman, a pretty female, and a classy lady.

I am not part of the women's lib movement.  I love a man who will open the door for me and protect me with love and TLC. But I also don't want anyone, man or woman, treating me like I'm inferior to them.  We are all equal in the sight of God. Yes, there are some things women may be limited to doing physically, and, I accept that. God made men and women different. That does not mean we will accept being talked to rudely or disrespectfully. The man who called me a smart ass woman didn't know how correct he was. I am and I'm proud to be one!

BTW, I didn't know him. He was a random person who had friended me but he defriended me and that was probably the wisest decision he has made in his life!
©2020



Saturday, April 11, 2020

Happy Resurrection Day!

As a child, when we didn't get our way, we thought we were so mistreated when, in actuality, we were privileged!

Writing my life story has helped me see I was a spoiled rotten kid! God blessed me by sending two special men to my life who loved me unconditionally, Jesus and Odis! I didn't deserve either of them, but I thank God for putting them in my space!

Watching scenes from the Passion of the Christ movie, I am reminded of the pain Jesus suffered so I could have eternal life! I think about my physical hurt of old age, and my tears flow, realizing His endured physical and emotional grief for me! I have never experienced that kind of agony. He was innocent but continued His mission.

Tomorrow is the day we set aside to celebrate His finished work on the cross! Make it your new year and a fresh beginning to love more, do better, and love Jesus more! 


Sunday, April 5, 2020

Monday, March 23, 2020

My Personal Guided Tour of Hot Springs


It has been a long journey to write my love story which began when I was 15 and fell in love with an 18-year-old from Lonsdale, Arkansas. I lived in Texarkana, and Odis Tyler had taken a job at the Texarkana Gazette. We lost contact for fifteen years and met again in 1973. 
After our reconnection, we knew our feelings were still alive. Odis wanted us to get to know each other and made plans for us to spend the weekend together. He picked me up in Texarkana and drove to Hot Springs. After checking me into the Holiday Inn on Highway 7, overlooking Lake Hamilton, we spent the rest of the day visiting with his parents and riding horses in Lonsdale. The next day he gave me a tour of Hot Springs. This is a small clip of that tour:

The next morning, Odis came and checked me out of the hotel, and we drove to the Arlington Hotel on Central Avenue for breakfast. As we ate, I was in awe of the elegance of the marble structure. There was a brochure on the table that gave the history of the hotel. It dated back to 1875. There was a fire in the twenties that destroyed the building but it reopened the next year. Many famous guests had stayed there, including several Presidents, Babe Ruth, and Al Capone.
Odis said, "At one time there was widespread illegal gambling in Hot Springs, but the governor brought it under control. Now we only have horse betting at Oaklawn."
We left the restaurant and drove down Central Avenue to see the bathhouses.
"People come from all over the world for the thermal spa baths in mineral water."
"I will have to try them one day."
We passed by the water spigot where people were filling their plastic bottles for drinking water.
"The water is hot coming out of the spout. Do you want to feel it?" he asked. We stopped so I could get out and touch it. The water was hot and almost burned my hand. I wondered why it was so hot. "Is it dangerous with that much heat in the earth below us?"
"No, it's been like that for thousands of years."
I believed him but was concerned about all that heat and wondered if there was a volcano that could erupt. We drove to the old railroad station. As we walked around, he gave me a history lesson, "Mr. Lonsdale was involved with the railroad and the banks in Hot Springs. Around 1900 he used his influence to generate the town of Lonsdale. Legend has it, he told several of the local families, 'Give me land and I'll build you a town.' They granted the railroad line a right-of-way and incorporated in 1913."
"Really? 1913 is a good number." He smiled and remembered my fascination with the number 13.
"Remember when we rode horses, and I pointed out the Colony House? Johnny Lonsdale, Jr. built it in the forties. He planned it as a miniature Madison Square Garden entertainment center with three stories. It has been several things, and the last was a skating rink."
"He must have been talented."
"I suppose. He was a colorful character. My uncle said he used to get drunk and shoot out the streetlights. When he sobered up the next day, he paid to have them replaced."
"Wow. Did he have a wife and children?"
"No, he never married. He ran for governor of Arkansas once but only got a few votes. He died in a car accident in the early fifties on his way back from a political meeting in New Orleans. His mother donated several acres in his memory to the Baptist a year after his death. They made a summer campground on the land and later bought the Colony House."
"Wow, what a shame."
"When I was young, I remember the train coming through Lonsdale. You could ride into Hot Springs early in the morning and ride back that night. We were close to the train depot, and hobos would stop by our house, and mom would feed them. They stopped the passenger service in the mid-sixties."
We sat on a bench outside the station, looking at the railroad tracks and continued talking. "I could ride the train for free because my dad worked for the Cotton Belt Railroad. We took the train to visit my grandmother's sisters in Colfax, Louisiana."
"You're kidding? My dad managed a ranch in Campti for my mom's uncle when I was five years old."
"My Aunt Dee and Uncle Joe lived in Campti."
"I started first grade in Louisiana."
"Wow, we could have met back then, but you wouldn't have loved me. I was a spoiled brat."
"Oh, you're not now?" he said with a grin. I got up and pretended to be mad as I walked away. Odis got up and grabbed me. He laughed and hugged me. "Now, I'm teasing you."
"Do I get a kiss for that remark?"
He pecked me on the lips. We walked arm in arm, toward the car as I had an intrusive thought. "Wow, what if we are related?"
He quipped back, "Then, we would be kissing cousins."
He continued talking about Lonsdale. "At one time, Lonsdale was larger than it is now. When they built the new highway from Benton to Hot Springs, they bypassed the town, and it dwindled to just around a hundred people."
"That's a shame. When we dated, you talked about it, and it sounded so fascinating. I always remembered the town."
"I worked on the new highway in the summers between high school. It was hard work. We moved big boulders, and my hands would bleed from using a pick and shovel. I could hardly stand up my back hurt so bad."
"Awe, poor baby."
He grinned, "You're mean, but I love you.
We got in the car, and I squeezed his cheeks with my fingers, "I love you, too."
"Okay, I forgive you. It was great growing up in a small town. I like it for my boys. Fewer things to get them in trouble."
"That's true."
He smiled at me. "I want you with me wherever I am."
The hot water in the ground was still on my mind, "I hope whatever is making that water hot doesn't erupt someday."
"That won't happen." He winked and grinned at me. "I promise you are safe!"
It was close to 1 PM, and it had been a great weekend. We were getting to know each other and building new memories. We drove by the Oaklawn Racetrack on Central and Odis said, "That is the racetrack I told you about earlier. My Uncle Floyd that you met yesterday, loves to go to the races. He is my dad's brother, and I know you've met a lot of my family, but I want them all to meet the girl I love."
"Yes, I remember him. He and Diane have the same birthday."
We pulled up to the service station, and Odis got out to pump the gas. He went inside to get us some snacks and drinks. Sitting in the car, I was reflecting on the two days, trying to visualize a life with him, and I was encouraged that I could make the transition. A few minutes later, I looked up, and he was standing by the car door, leaning down, grinning from ear to ear. He winked at me as he handed me the bag and a bottled Dr. Pepper.


Getting into the car, he said, "Was I gone too long?"
I smiled at him. "The key's in the ignition. If you disappeared again, I could drive myself home."
Positioning himself in the driver's seat, he pinched me on the cheek, "You would too." He had a gleam in his eye, "I got you a Dr. Pepper, and you're still mean to me."
"I warned you when we first met that I was a little mean."
He leaned over to kiss me and whispered. "Yes, and I should have believed you."
As we pulled away from the gas station, the radio came on playing the end of a lively tune by Johnny Carver, I Start Thinking About You. He knew the song and said, "I'm always thinking about you and how much I love you. It makes me go out of my mind, wondering if you love me."
I winked at him, "I don't want you going crazy on me, so yes, I love you." 
Patting me on my knee, he said, "Good, I want to be your sweet loving man."
We drove by the Holiday Inn on Highway 8,  where I had spent the night. Driving out of town, we crossed a long bridge over Lake Hamilton. Odis said, "Before Mark was born, I was driving around this curve into town, and a drunk driver hit me head-on. I almost died."
"Oh, my gosh. I'm glad God had other plans for you and kept you safe. He knew I would need your love ten years later."
Listening to the radio, Sonny James was singing an old sixty's song, True Love's A Blessing. Odis took my hand, holding it tight as we drove. He smiled, "There's no love like the love I found when I found you. You are my pearl."  
I chuckled, "Then, I must be worth a lot of money."
"You are priceless," he said, smiling. "True love is a blessing, and you are mine. I'll always love you and be faithful."
We were both quiet as we had our right hands intertwined together. There was not much traffic driving back to Texarkana. I was tired and laid my head on his shoulder. "I love to listen to the beat of your heart and wonder what the beats are saying." 
"They are saying, I love you; I love you; I love you." He lifted my hand and kissed it, and I wished this moment could last forever. I dropped off to sleep, and when I opened my eyes, it startled me. "Oh! I hope I didn't snore."
Odis grinned, "You did, but it was cute."
I frowned and stuck my tongue out at him as we drove into Margaret's driveway. He put the car in park and said, "Be careful your face doesn't freeze that way." He reached over and pinched my cheek, "But I'd still love it."
It had been a great day, and I knew I was falling in love with him and where he lived. As we got out of the car, Odis said, "I loved being with you this weekend. I hope you had fun."
"Yes,  Hot Springs is a neat town. Very different from the Metroplex, but that's a good thing. 

Saturday, March 21, 2020

I'm having a baby!

When you end up in a bad relationship, whether it was dating someone, an engagement or marriage, you want to guard your actions the second time so you DON'T make the same mistake twice. When Odis and I met again in May 1973, I only wanted a friend. I was hurt, suspicious and really did not think I wanted another man in my life... EVER!! I knew I had deep feelings for him that had never gone away but it was difficult at first to trust if he was real. 
By September, I was having faith in this remarkable man that God had allowed back in my life and changing my mind as I wrote: “I know you are praying that I will marry you and spend my life with you and it is working. I have loved you for 15 years and it has never gone away. I want to be with you wherever you are. Whether it is Texarkana or Lonsdale, I want to be with you. I can’t stand being away from you. Can we make it together? I know I love you and I believe we can. I’m tired of doing things by myself. I’m tired of going to church alone and coming home to no one. I want a Christian home and someone I can pray with, read the bible with and who loves me. I believe I have that in you!”
I remember asking JoAnn if she thought he was real. She said, "Time will tell." 

When my friends told me I was crazy, it would not work. They asked me why would I want to take on the responsibility of three young boys, but they did not know the history of our love from fifteen years before. Well, I'm glad I took a gamble and Odis proved himself worthy of the trust I placed in him. If I had listened to them, I would have missed a most remarkable love story.
I'm often asked how we made it work blending his three boys and my daughter after my emotional experiences. I have to tell them it was because he loved me ten times more than I could ever have loved him but mainly; he put God first but had me real close at second and I always felt his love.

I love my three girls and my inherited boys and their kids. I now get to look toward my first great-granddaughter!! I will teach her to love shoes, to shun wire hangers and to love her nana. She isn't born yet but she will be Miss America!

Saturday, March 14, 2020

Contemporary music VS Hymns

My take on the modern worship music is the atmosphere they are trying to create. It's difficult for me to get in an attitude of worshipping God with strobe lights hitting me in the face. I feel I'm being entertained and not led to worship.  I just like a clean non-cluttered sound!  
It's the difference in a person's concept of food. Some people like quantity over quality but I'm the opposite. Give me a good steak, baked potato and salad with NY cheesecake and I'm in heaven. In music, give me a good pianist, bass player and drummer with a rhythm guitar and I'm happy.  If you add an abundance of instruments, I prefer an orchestra over a rock band!  I know, I'm weird!  I like a clean smooth sound!
What can I say? I'm old and a traditionalist!
I recently got a new appreciation for what the young people want today when I attended a new church with Diane. They held it in the Oaklawn Opry Theater so there were theater lights but not too overdone, even for me. The young people were warm and friendly. Several shook my hand and welcomed me (obviously a senior citizen) to the service. The praise team was in one accord and no one personality was trying to hawg the spotlight but wanted to lead in worship.  I felt a presence of the Holy Spirit and I knew "God is in this place!" 
The main thing is the pastor preached the word!  His delivery was warm, direct, scriptural and related to his audience.  Most of the congregation was under the age of 25 and I realized, they would not feel at home in my traditional church.
Aren't you glad God didn't make us all alike?  

Friday, March 6, 2020

A High School Romance

There is nothing like that first high school romance encounter! Young, immature, but in love with a passion! I had that high school romance at age fifteen and was blessed to have it created again in my thirties! The second time was with more maturity but the same love and passion!

Today, more people have been divorced than have stayed married.  It is a sad thing but true. Most of the time, it turns out better the second time but sometimes it takes a third or even fourth try.

What is the key to getting a marriage right?
Find someone who loves you more than Christ loves the church and then love them back with all your might!



#HighSchoolRomance #SecondTimeMarriages #LoveWithPassion